mangolassie’s Neighborhood

Sometimes technology empowers me. Things work smoother and faster and I can write, connect, watch, create and generally do and be more, as result of magic of technology.

Then there are times when technology thwarts me at every turn. Things break, slow down or just become ridiculously complicated. When that happens, technology can suck the energy out of just about every task big and small.

After months of everything working relatively smoothly, I seem to find myself thwarted by machines, captive to electrical conundrums, bogged down by bad connections and generally wading through the muck of technology gone wrong.  

The Television Has Fallen Ill

The televisions have had memory cards replaced, firmware upgrades and new panels installed. The cordless phones have taken to randomly deciding to let me know who's calling or not, as it pleases them. The programmable thermostat seems to want to decide for itself when the heat should go full blast or completely off. Bulbs in my bedroom and the backyard refuse to power up and provide light. My Blackberry's trackball has developed a sluggishness and a stickiness that makes me suspect that some of that nasty green goo from Ghost Busters is oozing just behind the faceplate.

But the most vexing problems are with my computer and its relationship to programs and the Internet. It's slow. Really realley sl-o-o-o-o-o-o-w. Which is maddening enough, but it loses things. It forgets things. It doesn't want to connect to sites and people it should connect to. It misbehaves, acting like it doesn't care to help me do the things I need and want to do. This defiant, sluggish laptop was purchased in May of this year.

Can You See The Ghost In The Machine?

I've tried all the usual (but not extreme) remedies that those of us with an above average comfort level with personal technology know to do in these situations. I've tried them two and three times or more.

It might be time for more drastic measures. But before I go that far, one of my business partners offered up his "Technology Cleansing Ritual".

I think it might be worth a shot.

When you are in the snowy cold of Minnesota, take your laptop, remove any jewelry and do the following:

 

1.       Gather freshly cut parsley and place it in a pan of distilled water. Let it soak for nine minutes. Sprinkle the water throughout the house while visualizing a calm environment.

2.       Go outside, face Seattle and chant the following: I will uphold the Redmond creed. High in spirit, I shall succeed. Power of the Elements Five, will help my data stay alive. From grains of earth to the moving air, past the burning fire that magic flares, flow with water, lakes, and streams; around the spirit's aura and dreams.  Keep my karma high aloft and let me play with Microsoft.

3.       Avoid eating any liver or organ meat for one month.

 

You should be good to go!

J  

matt - still hasn't gotten his mail forwarded. don't know why - could he really be that lazy? i mean, i know he's forgetful when it comes to actual responsibilities, but seriously. i'm seeing him tomorrow night for a couple drinks and giving him his rather large stack of mail and other miscellaneous crap. wish me luck. i have no idea how this is going to end, but i'm not entirely certain i'll be 100% cordial. i'll have to bite my tongue to keep from being a bitchy.

dean - i think he's gotten the hint now after our little text discussion last night, but he still REALLY wants to be friends with me...ok, fine.

geoff (tall tattooed guy from my date with lame guy) - still haven't heard from him, but he doesn't seem like a frequent facebooker based on his lack of posts on his profile, so he just may not have gotten around to checking it. at least that's what i'm hoping. it has only been a day and a half.

bryan (lame guy from the date where i met tall tattooed guy) - hasn't called, which is good, because i don't want him to. so at least i'm not having to let him down easily or anything.

started hopeless - ended hopeful?

so i met bryan at this bar called blackbird. it was a little awkward - he was a little less attractive than his pictures led me to believe. he grew an unattractive chin goatee thing and i don't think he's gotten a hair cut in a while because it's grown out in such a way that makes his head look triangular.

willing to look past it - it's just a hairdo and facial hair.

so as we're sitting at the bar having a couple beers - i feel as though i'm the one forcing the conversation. the entire night he didn't ask a SINGLE question about me - not about my work, my yoga, my family, my hometown, etc...NOTHING.

so after a couple drinks we went to a place called fire on water to see his friend's band play. i wasn't really interested in hanging out with him any longer, but i thought at least i'd see a band out of it.

oh - not to mention that all he did talk about was alcohol. i understand he's in wine sales, but literally, all of his stories were about being drunk and that's totally unattractive.

so we get to fire on water (it's on a street downtown called water st...clever) and immediately i'm attracted to his friend...he's super tall like i like them - like 6' 6", he's tattooed, which i'm a sucker for, and has the most gorgeous smile with nice teeth. he was filling in for the band's bass player that night who couldn't be there and again, i'm a sucker for those musicians.

(sidenote: i had a previous post about my deja vu, and this guy fits my deja vu image much better. the shape of his face is much more accurate and so is the five o'clock shadow and light colored eyes).

we were catching eachother's eye all night. at the end of the evening, he came over by me and asked me how the show was, gave me a high five and we didn't let our hands go, we brought our hands down and kind of held hands and locked eyes for a minute *sigh*...right in front of bryan, which i felt kinda bad about.

i think bryan knew that we didn't have any chemistry, so i don't think he was that heartbroken.

when i got home that night i wanted to send him (the tall guy, geoff, not bryan) a message, but i wanted to hold off for a while and not let the beer do the talking - and to talk to amber first to make sure i wasn't being stupid.

so last night i sent him a message, saying that bryan and i didn't really have any chemistry and if it's a conflict of interest because he's bryan's friend, i would totally understand, but i was definitely attracted to him and to give me a call if he ever wanted to grab a drink.

he's probably a more dangerous choice of man, and probably the type that i should stay away from - but let's face it, i can't date an ordinary guy, never could - he's got a ton of tattooes, quite a large one on his neck, he seems to be a bit of a flirt, and based on his facebook profile, he's not the well educated, corporate type that i think would be best for me...but truthfully, i find those guys boring, even though i know they would be on more of a similar path as me. i gathered that he's in some sort of construction/masonry type job from things that he was saying about work to a friend and the roughness of his hands.

if anything, he might be fun to hang out with. so the evening wasn't a total loss - hopefully i'll hear from geoff soon-ish. 

I'm supposed to do a lot of things today, such as go to the Gym, and go Christmas Shopping, but it's raining, and cold, and I've spent most of the day on the couch.  Meh.

Anyway, I just watched a documentary on HBO called Smile Pinki about kids in India with cleft lips/pallets and a group that gives the children plastic surgeries for free.  The charity that does this is called Smile Train and for $250 a child's surgery can be covered.  Apparently there are over one million children with this problem. It was really a good film, and I encourage everyone to visit their website and check out the work they do (6,000 since 2004 and now 3,000 per year).  It really is amazing:

Smiletrain.org

You can also donate at the link.

-K.

so this morning i stop by facebook to make a post about how i wish that they'd make coffee filters easier to separate, and i notice a post that dean left last night.

it was basically saying that he feels bad for all of us in milwaukee because he's in arizona and it's all warm and whatnot. it goes on to say how much he loves arizona because of all the beautiful ladies he met last night and how he's totally moving there.

he called me two days ago and i didn't respond.

so i sent him a text after reading his post and said "sorry i haven't returned your phone call, i've had plans the last few nights. p.s. nice facebook post. see you around i guess."

i know i have no right to be upset - i don't want to date him, i just thought it was tacky and unecessary.

i get a phone call and FOUR text messages about an hour later about how his sister is the one that posted that because his crazy ex is sending him obnoxious texts, etc...how i shouldn't be mad and that i know "damn well" that i'm the only girl he likes and wants to be with, etc.

i didn't respond right away and got ANOTHER text asking if i'm blowing him off and how he wish i wouldn't, how he wants me to call him on my lunch to explain.

i responded that i'm at work and that i'm kind of in the middle of stuff right now. i said that i don't want to deal with the same nonsense from the art museum night, if he says dez (his sister) sent it, then that's fine. i don't need an explanation.

he responded that he would never do anything to jeopardize this (what? me and him?) because he thinks it's going great, etc.

i didn't respond.

then HIS SISTER texts me like a half hour later confirming that she made the post, etc...

geez...talk about drama filled. we're not even dating.

i have deja vu - sometimes to a creepy extent and i'm certain i dream these things. i rarely ever remember my dreams, so when i do, i take note. my aunt also has serious deja vu and i think these types of things run in families. 

i had a dream the other night about being all cutesy and kissy with a guy that wasn't matt. a dream is probably not the right term, but i get still pictures in my head of certain situations that are tied to feelings, so i know if it's a happy situation, a sad one, etc.

the picture i have in my head from the other night was me being face to face with a guy who was a little scruffy and had light hair and blue eyes...like bryan, the guy i'm going out with on saturday. for whatever reason, i remember saying something about how cute he is and there being smiling and sweetness and kisses. i suppose it could be anyone, but it definitely wasn't matt. these "pictures" always come back out of no where when the moment actually presents itself and i have that deja vu feeling.

am i trying to tell myself something?

it's -4 (yes, negative 4) with a -22 (yes, negative 22) windchill.

at least it'll be in the 20s tomorrow.

Watch this stunningly beautiful, breath-taking vision of Picasso's anti-war masterpiece Guernica animated by Lena Gieseke.

matt and i have written a couple e-mails back and forth. we're getting together next week wednesday for drinks. he says he has a nervous brick in his stomach - not quite sure why. i told him that i thought i was the one with the nervous brick in my stomach given that the situation we find ourselves in was not my idea.

i have no idea how he's feeling about me other than what he's told me - that he's been thinking about the last six weeks that we've been apart constantly since we just started e-mailing again...is he thinking that he has been content the last six months without me or that he's realized his life without me sucks? not sure. but i guess i'll find out.

in any case, seeing him will be really weird. it's been so long and the last time we were in front of eachother, he was walking out our front door and i was standing in the middle of the living room floor sobbing. we haven't communicated in any way other than letters and e-mails, so i haven't heard his voice in six weeks either.

*

in an effort to keep my options open - just in case matt has no interest in getting back with me - i've been dabbling in internet dating and i actually met a guy that i think is pretty cool.

his name is bryan - he's 29, 6' tall (i'm not fond of short guys because i'm kinda tall so i'm glad he's a good height), he is in sales for a wine distributor and was in ska bands back in the day, which is actually why i started talking to him - because i was in a ska band in high school. turns out that one of the guys that was in my band, was in two of his previous bands so we have a mutual friend.

we became facebook friends the other day and yesterday he started up a chat with me on facebook...we chatted for about 45 minutes. it was really good...he seems totally normal and we're into the same bars, we have the same sense of humor, he uses smiley faces, and we both hate talking on the phone. i know for a fact he has a car, a job and he has roommates so he has an apartment.

we made plans to get together saturday night to grab a drink or two. or three.

i'm not counting on bryan and i hitting it off AND matt wanting me back, but if that ended up being the case, i think i'd have a problem. i almost didn't want to get together with this guy until i met up with matt, but i didn't see the point in that. that would mean i'd be counting on matt to want me back and i've come to the conclusion that i'm fine either way...if he doesn't, i've already become fine with that because i've had to - if he does, then there's a lot of work that needs to be done and it would take a long time for this to become what is was.  

we're supposed to get like a foot of snow tomorrow.

i hope the weather man is wrong - or at least i hope it's mostly sleet and slush - because they made an announcement already that the office will be open and if we decide to call in, it's either unpaid or deducted from vacation time.

wonderful. wisconsin. winter.