Here's hoping my dates are half as entertaining as dating advice I've received
Here's an abridged (only slightly) version of an e-mail volley between my girlfriends and I last week.
M: how was the coffee date?????
Me: Coffee date was nice. I couldn't have picked a nicer guy for my first
baby step into dating again. He's cute as hell but only 24. I hope to
make him my kayak & happy hour buddy though.
M: age never stopped Cameron and Justin. Or Demi and Ashton. Go for it!
Me: Let me give you the play by play of our brief courtship so you can advise me. I'm not exactly clued-in about all this stuff.
Jade Monkey 2/6: I chat him up and give him my business card
Monday 2/9: he e-mails me saying he's "open to meeting for a drink or dinner"
Thursday 2/12: We meet for tea at Escape (my suggestion). He's there when I arrive at 7:30 and we talked until 9:45. Not really flirty, just getting to know each other kind of stuff. It was a fairly comfortable vibe. As we are parting by our cars, he says "keep in touch." I say "yeah." Real encouraging, I know. I'm too shy.
Friday 2/13: I facebook friend him with a message to the effect of "now you can see the music preferences I blanked on last night"
Saturday 2/14: He writes on my wall to thank me for a restaurant recommendation I made.
Monday: 2/16: I write on his wall with a url I meant to give him and ask him how the beer safari is going.
And that's where it stands. Is the ball in my court? I sort of thought he'd respond to the beer safari thing if interested. I know he has limited facebook access at work and he won't have internet at home until next week. Should I e-mail him? Should I wait until next week and see if he wants to happy hour at the monkey?
Or maybe I just shouldn't start something that I'm not sure I want to finish. He's not quite as together career-wise as I would prefer. He does have a beard and I've never kissed anyone with a beard. I'm thinking I might need to kiss him if only for research purposes. ;) I'm actually wondering if I should ask him to join us on Saturday for a show or if I should stay unattached for potential High Noon hotties.
Kris: You definitely kiss him, if possible, beards are fun!
K: Just my 2 cents: I'd definitely let someone who said he's "open
to/keep in touch" hanging out kick the ball forward. You're way to cool
for a guy who wants to passively hang out (unless that's what you're
after right now).
One caveat: If you're dropdead crazy for him
go for it, sometimes it works out. If you're not, I'd move on and just
add him to your friend's list.
M: I agree with K. And "He's Just Not That Into You" taught me that if a guy wants to hang out with you, HE WILL CONTACT YOU.
However, I have trouble following that advice.
If
you need a good exfoliation treatment make out with him. But
definitely don't do it Saturday night. There will be plenty more where
that came from at the High Noon on Saturday. You can make out with him
when you don't have other things to do.
And where you guys left off...it's His turn to contact you! (again, I don't follow my own advice...but maybe someday I will!)
Kris: Good point, K. Can Jamie reserve the right to drunkenly make out with him some post-Monkey night though?
K: Sure, just no crying in the toilet.
Kris: It's not a fun night out until someone's cryin' in the toilet. But what about hippies? I feel like they're so passive that a girl would have to make the first move.
K: Lack of motivation about you = lame. I've had way too many friends date
lazy bums. If he also smokes weed, chuck him for sure. Chances are he
sounds like he may never buy you dinner, and that's what it's all
about, free dinners, right?
While I generally give rad love
advice, please ignore my extreme hypocrisy - I
painfully stalked and obsessed over M (now Ks husband) for nearly a decade. And the
only thing he bought be the first 9 years of our "courtship" was 1,
count it 1 Tom Collins.
M: You must REALLY like Tom Collins!
K: What can I say, I'm a sucker for tall, rugged and ginger.