3 posts from February 2009

Here's an abridged (only slightly) version of an e-mail volley between my girlfriends and I last week.

M: how was the coffee date?????

Me: Coffee date was nice. I couldn't have picked a nicer guy for my first baby step into dating again. He's cute as hell but only 24. I hope to make him my kayak & happy hour buddy though.

M: age never stopped Cameron and Justin.  Or Demi and Ashton.  Go for it!

Me: Let me give you the play by play of our brief courtship so you can advise me. I'm not exactly clued-in about all this stuff.

Jade Monkey 2/6: I chat him up and give him my business card
Monday 2/9: he e-mails me saying he's "open to meeting for a drink or dinner"
Thursday 2/12: We meet for tea at Escape (my suggestion). He's there when I arrive at 7:30 and we talked until 9:45. Not really flirty, just getting to know each other kind of stuff. It was a fairly comfortable vibe.  As we are parting by our cars, he says "keep in touch." I say "yeah." Real encouraging, I know. I'm too shy.
Friday 2/13: I facebook friend him with a message to the effect of "now you can see the music preferences I blanked on last night"
Saturday 2/14: He writes on my wall to thank me for a restaurant recommendation I made.
Monday: 2/16: I write on his wall with a url I meant to give him and ask him how the beer safari is going.

And that's where it stands. Is the ball in my court? I sort of thought he'd respond to the beer safari thing if interested. I know he has limited facebook access at work and he won't have internet at home until next week. Should I e-mail him? Should I wait until next week and see if he wants to happy hour at the monkey?

Or maybe I just shouldn't start something that I'm not sure I want to finish. He's not quite as together career-wise as I would prefer. He does have a beard and I've never kissed anyone with a beard. I'm thinking I might need to kiss him if only for research purposes. ;) I'm actually wondering if I should ask him to join us on Saturday for a show or if I should stay unattached for potential High Noon hotties.

Kris: You definitely kiss him, if possible, beards are fun!

K: Just my 2 cents: I'd definitely let someone who said he's "open to/keep in touch" hanging out kick the ball forward. You're way to cool for a guy who wants to passively hang out (unless that's what you're after right now).
 
One caveat: If you're dropdead crazy for him go for it, sometimes it works out. If you're not, I'd move on and just add him to your friend's list.

M: I agree with K.  And "He's Just Not That Into You"  taught me that if a guy wants to hang out with you, HE WILL CONTACT YOU.

However, I have trouble following that advice.
If you need a good exfoliation treatment make out with him.  But definitely don't do it Saturday night.  There will be plenty more where that came from at the High Noon on Saturday.  You can make out with him when you don't have other things to do. 

And where you guys left off...it's His turn to contact you! (again, I don't follow my own advice...but maybe someday I will!)

Kris: Good point, K. Can Jamie reserve the right to drunkenly make out with him some post-Monkey night though?

K: Sure, just no crying in the toilet.

Kris: It's not a fun night out until someone's cryin' in the toilet. But what about hippies? I feel like they're so passive that a girl would have to make the first move.

K: Lack of motivation about you = lame. I've had way too many friends date lazy bums. If he also smokes weed, chuck him for sure. Chances are he sounds like he may never buy you dinner, and that's what it's all about, free dinners, right?
 
While I generally give rad love advice, please ignore my extreme hypocrisy - I painfully stalked and obsessed over M (now Ks husband) for nearly a decade.  And the only thing he bought be the first 9 years of our "courtship" was 1, count it 1 Tom Collins.

M: You must REALLY like Tom Collins!

K: What can I say, I'm a sucker for tall, rugged and ginger.

When one of my girlfriends was single I recommended she be on the lookout for men when giving blood. I got this idea while eating cookies and sipping too-sweet orange juice after I made a donation. I heard an English accent and with a turn of the head I found this voice belonging to a handsome blood bank worker in his white coat. After further eavesdropping I determined he had a wife...boo...but I did get it in my head that this might be a good place to meet someone. No sure thing, of course...but who knows who will end up in the cot next to you, or who might dine on cheese and crackers with you afterward. Therefore Bon Iver's song "Blood Bank" made me smile. I am patiently waiting for Justin Vernon to give blood in Madison. At his Barrymore show in December he mentioned he has family here so this could happen. Justin, I will meet you at the American Red Cross on Sheboygan Avenue.  And I will gladly kiss you in my car while the snow is falling. I am a bit shy though so you may have to make the first move. Although if anyone could bring about one of my flashes of boldness it would be you. My desired potential-boyfriend age-range is now 27-37. It was going to be 28-37 but I didn't want to make you ineligible. You're welcome.

One doesn’t need children, normative success or a partner. One only needs to be authentically happy. Kittens may help. And scotch.