Posts (page 2)

Death - the ultimate in unrequited love?

Kris and I were waiting (not so patiently) in Maharaja for Gia and her boyfriend to arrive. We got in position to sprint to the buffet as they walked in the door. Gia was our little Indian food virgin and Kris and I left her in the dust while we piled up our plates at haste. Was that rude? She did have her helpful bf to help her figure out what was what. Then we were silent while we filled our bellies to prep for our afternoon of drinking craft brews at the FestivAle benefit. FestivAle was packed - we started with the Fauerbach. It wasn't really a strategic choice - it was just closest to the door. And it was good. We had herbal ale, cherry porter, Indian pale ales and on and on. Earlier in the week I had forwarded the ladies the Ale Asylum's newsletter which hinted at full sample glasses for those who mentioned reading about the event in the newsletter. Kris mentioned the newsletter and....boo...regular sized sample. Oh, well. There was no shortage of beer. My tummy was hurting but nothing a sit-down in the balcony couldn't cure. Kris used this opportunity to write out her list of worries. Why, you ask? You'll see. At last my belly settled and we ventured down into the crowd which had thinned considerably since we first arrived. As had the beer supply, the Blu Creek blueberry ale I wanted to try was out. We meandered towards the stage, sampling a couple more brews in the process. It was raffle time. The tall man on the stage was holding up the thermal Ale Asylum shirt that Gia and I had been coveting at the Ale Asylum two weeks ago. And who gets called? Why Gia's boyfriend, that's who! And of course he gives her the shirt. Next is the tank top. And who wins the tank top! Kris! It's adorable with an "Asylum Angels" theme. She gives it to me - yay! Not necessarily 'cause she's nice (though she is) but 'cause it wouldn't fit over her ample bosom. My less than ample bosom is thrilled! Then starts the name drawing for the rest of the six-packs that weren't won in the ring toss. There's loads of these. Gia's boyfriend is called again and then the very next name is Kris's! They had some kind of synergistic gambling mojo together, throwing their tickets in the bowl while Gia and I used the facilities. Rewarded, perhaps for gifting us their Ale Asylum garments. We sat back and enjoyed The Dirty Shirts play bluegrass after the tasting ended. I would definitely see them again, they were really good and I don't think I thought that just 'cause of the beer buzz. The bass player was hilarious and Kris and I were impressed. As they finished, we grabbed some High Noon Saloon matches and headed off to Vilas Park. We were off to observe Get Over It Day, a couple days early. We chose Vilas since it had covered shelters where we could set our worry lists alight if the rain didn't let up. Fortunately the rain was on a break and we lit our lists on one of the bridges, watching them burn in our hands until we couldn't hold them anymore. Then we let them drop into the icy water below. Kris and I enjoyed the ritual burning so much that I grabbed my beer tasting literature from my purse and gave her some and we continued burning things. Yeah, we're both pyros. We also have matching pajamas but that might be a story for another day.

Things to get over

I generally wonder what he did to screw it up. But I politely refrain from asking that. I never have this reaction when a woman refers to her ex. I guess just have trouble accepting that some guys are nice and warm-hearted since I spent so long with the opposite sort. I know, boo-hoo, wallowing-me. But I know these nice guys are out there and they aren't always to blame for the demise of past loves.

Winter's Day

So I've got a sick kitty. The antibiotics he's taking for his bladder infection upset his tummy. This makes him not want to eat but he needs to eat food with these pills so it's easier on the stomach. It's a bit of a catch-22, feline-style. The vet recommended chicken baby-food to whet his appetite. I didn't even know you fed meat derivations to babies. I thought it was all milk and mushed-up peas. I'm pretty sure the guy with the baby in the baby-food aisle knew I was an impostor. I take this stuff home and feed it to Diver. He's lukewarm about it but he eats it. I was impressed with his fortitude since this stuff smells VILE. Cat food smell is less-offensive to my veggie-nose. I don't know how people can feed this stuff to cute babies, poor little things. Have you smelled this stuff? I'd say don't do it. However if you're visiting me in the next couple days (as my lone reader, Kris, is --- Hi Kris!!!) I am going to wave it under your nose and say, "See what I mean?"

Twitter and other forms of social networking have introduced to me to all these hyper-ambitious young people. And by young people I mean twenty-somethings. Turning thirty last summer made me take stock of many things, including my somewhat inconsistent approach to my professional life. When I was twenty-eight I just felt like there was so much time and I would be more accomplished when I was thirty. Really, it was only a matter of time until people took notice of my genius. But two years is nothing, and now I am finally pulling my shit together. Twitter has helped. I mean I had heard of these ambitious, networking sorts but I’d never been able to access so many and their thoughts on this level. Reading articles about this stuff is different than being taken through their daily routines via their tweets. These are real people. Weird. I guess in my head they had some sort of super-human status. Sure, they write and link to fabulous articles but they also eat lunch and sometimes they get lost on their way to aforementioned lunch. I wasn’t even aware I was slighting myself by basically thinking “Well, they wrote an article so they must be some sort of super genius.” So armed with the advice of my new followers/followees I have entered the world of networking and these are my adventures therein.

Tuesday night was a self-proclaimed geek dinner for people involved in the web. I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into. And it wasn’t bad, it’s just that I was just soooooo very unknowledgeable on the topics of conversation. This was partially due to being new to the group and the rest was due to my inability to hold forth on subjects such as comic books…and movies based on comic books, and math-y programming languages. I listened politely and tried to follow the flow of convo - the nice young gentlemen next to me defined a couple terms here and there. A friend of mine, and true comic book devotee, attended. She sat on one end of the table and gave me pitying looks every once and a while. I did however get some advice to work on “making things pretty” a la xhtml & css rather than mess about with php or ruby (programming languages) at this point. Sound advice though I wasn’t quite sure if “making things pretty” wasn’t a bit condescending. Hard to tell though when I don’t know these people or their senses of humor. I’m going to assume that advice was given in good spirit. I did exchange cards with the programmer seated to the left of the nice young gentleman/translator. We have exchanged a couple e-mails on the possibility of working in tandem on projects where I take care of the design elements and he does the programming. That’s a fabulous outcome of my first tentative steps into real networking. I think I could learn a lot from these people and potentially make friends. I would attend again but I will try to drag another right-brained designer-sort with me and/or sit next to my friend so she can hold my hand.

Saturday night was a benefit/cocktail party. I attended with my friend and her boyfriend. He thought he might know some peeps to introduce us too. One of the people he meant to introduce us to was home with a sick kid. I’m cool with exchanging business cards. Germs? Not so much. So that was just fine. Perhaps we will meet him another time. Other than that he didn’t really know anyone, except for my former coworker who now does design for him. I also saw a couple more coworkers and a lady newscaster. I didn't meet anyone new though. Ah, the joys of not-networking. So we just made do with our vodka cocktails that were included in the price of admission, which was fine by me! I think my companions felt kind of bad but I had a good time regardless. I reconfirmed that I can, in fact, walk in heels and clean up pretty well. There were some sexy heels at the party, a pair of them on my own friend. There were a couple young ladies that didn’t seem able to walk in them though…or maybe that was the  result of too many cocktails? I think all sexiness is out the window if you can only lurch in your shoes...unless you're trying to attract a zombie. Though a zombie's thoughts are probably more focused on dining on brains. Speaking of dining, there was quite a spread of hors d’oeuvres that were hard to identify under the red color of the heat lamps. I picked up something I thought was a dessert that ended up looking more like shredded meat on top of  bread once it reached my plate. It was hard to tell since we didn’t make it to the snack table until after the lights had been lowered. I tried something on a spoon, luckily only tasting the garnishing veggies before realizing they were hiding some sort of meat. Thankfully there was hummus and an olive tapenade with pita breads. I made my friend try the olive tapenade first since I was feeling a bit unsure after nearly taking a bite of mystery meat. Yep, it was olives…and she was not pleased with the flavor. What a good friend, right?! Both the hummus and tapenade featured cloves of garlic so it’s just as well I didn’t network since I wouldn’t want to be remembered as the graphic designer with garlic breath. However if you are looking for a designer with garlic breath, do get in touch.

Here's an abridged (only slightly) version of an e-mail volley between my girlfriends and I last week.

M: how was the coffee date?????

Me: Coffee date was nice. I couldn't have picked a nicer guy for my first baby step into dating again. He's cute as hell but only 24. I hope to make him my kayak & happy hour buddy though.

M: age never stopped Cameron and Justin.  Or Demi and Ashton.  Go for it!

Me: Let me give you the play by play of our brief courtship so you can advise me. I'm not exactly clued-in about all this stuff.

Jade Monkey 2/6: I chat him up and give him my business card
Monday 2/9: he e-mails me saying he's "open to meeting for a drink or dinner"
Thursday 2/12: We meet for tea at Escape (my suggestion). He's there when I arrive at 7:30 and we talked until 9:45. Not really flirty, just getting to know each other kind of stuff. It was a fairly comfortable vibe.  As we are parting by our cars, he says "keep in touch." I say "yeah." Real encouraging, I know. I'm too shy.
Friday 2/13: I facebook friend him with a message to the effect of "now you can see the music preferences I blanked on last night"
Saturday 2/14: He writes on my wall to thank me for a restaurant recommendation I made.
Monday: 2/16: I write on his wall with a url I meant to give him and ask him how the beer safari is going.

And that's where it stands. Is the ball in my court? I sort of thought he'd respond to the beer safari thing if interested. I know he has limited facebook access at work and he won't have internet at home until next week. Should I e-mail him? Should I wait until next week and see if he wants to happy hour at the monkey?

Or maybe I just shouldn't start something that I'm not sure I want to finish. He's not quite as together career-wise as I would prefer. He does have a beard and I've never kissed anyone with a beard. I'm thinking I might need to kiss him if only for research purposes. ;) I'm actually wondering if I should ask him to join us on Saturday for a show or if I should stay unattached for potential High Noon hotties.

Kris: You definitely kiss him, if possible, beards are fun!

K: Just my 2 cents: I'd definitely let someone who said he's "open to/keep in touch" hanging out kick the ball forward. You're way to cool for a guy who wants to passively hang out (unless that's what you're after right now).
 
One caveat: If you're dropdead crazy for him go for it, sometimes it works out. If you're not, I'd move on and just add him to your friend's list.

M: I agree with K.  And "He's Just Not That Into You"  taught me that if a guy wants to hang out with you, HE WILL CONTACT YOU.

However, I have trouble following that advice.
If you need a good exfoliation treatment make out with him.  But definitely don't do it Saturday night.  There will be plenty more where that came from at the High Noon on Saturday.  You can make out with him when you don't have other things to do. 

And where you guys left off...it's His turn to contact you! (again, I don't follow my own advice...but maybe someday I will!)

Kris: Good point, K. Can Jamie reserve the right to drunkenly make out with him some post-Monkey night though?

K: Sure, just no crying in the toilet.

Kris: It's not a fun night out until someone's cryin' in the toilet. But what about hippies? I feel like they're so passive that a girl would have to make the first move.

K: Lack of motivation about you = lame. I've had way too many friends date lazy bums. If he also smokes weed, chuck him for sure. Chances are he sounds like he may never buy you dinner, and that's what it's all about, free dinners, right?
 
While I generally give rad love advice, please ignore my extreme hypocrisy - I painfully stalked and obsessed over M (now Ks husband) for nearly a decade.  And the only thing he bought be the first 9 years of our "courtship" was 1, count it 1 Tom Collins.

M: You must REALLY like Tom Collins!

K: What can I say, I'm a sucker for tall, rugged and ginger.

When one of my girlfriends was single I recommended she be on the lookout for men when giving blood. I got this idea while eating cookies and sipping too-sweet orange juice after I made a donation. I heard an English accent and with a turn of the head I found this voice belonging to a handsome blood bank worker in his white coat. After further eavesdropping I determined he had a wife...boo...but I did get it in my head that this might be a good place to meet someone. No sure thing, of course...but who knows who will end up in the cot next to you, or who might dine on cheese and crackers with you afterward. Therefore Bon Iver's song "Blood Bank" made me smile. I am patiently waiting for Justin Vernon to give blood in Madison. At his Barrymore show in December he mentioned he has family here so this could happen. Justin, I will meet you at the American Red Cross on Sheboygan Avenue.  And I will gladly kiss you in my car while the snow is falling. I am a bit shy though so you may have to make the first move. Although if anyone could bring about one of my flashes of boldness it would be you. My desired potential-boyfriend age-range is now 27-37. It was going to be 28-37 but I didn't want to make you ineligible. You're welcome.

One doesn’t need children, normative success or a partner. One only needs to be authentically happy. Kittens may help. And scotch. 

Objective: To enter into a relationship of mutual respect and admiration with an individual I am attracted to. Someone with whom I have things in common. Definitely not an “everything in its place” type of person, I'm thinking laid-back but ambitious. A big, warm heart is required. Looking good naked, a plus. Not looking for just any Girlfriend vacancy, if we are not a match I wish you well and will remain self-employed.

Experience:
My last position as Girlfriend was one of growth. Though ultimately not the right fit for me I have learned much and look forward to applying this knowledge in a more compatible work environment. 

Education:
School of Life and Love 1978–Present

Skills/Qualifications
• Ability to work either independently or collaboratively
• Excellent Taste in Music
• Skilled in the art of compromise
• Also the art of love
• Laid Back & Patient
• Can be ready to go anywhere in 15 minutes
• Cute Butt

I generally like coincidences and however small they are I might still weight them with importance. I like to think there’s sort of a loose plan that the universe has me on. I may zig and zag around it a bit but someone out there puts little mile markers there to let me know I’m not too far off. The coincidences remind me that the universe might be nestling me in its figurative cozy bosom. Ok, sometimes it feels more like I'm being shoved about with an open palm but whatever. I'm on my way. But about that coincidence, and this is a very little one – a friend of mine was wearing almost the same shade of nail polish as me this past weekend. I haven't worn nail polish in years (fear of toxins in my case) and she hadn't worn it in ages either. Yes, a very small little coincidence but added to a growing list of things we have in common. Let me count the ways...

1. both only children
2. She got out a 10-yr relationship a few years back after trying and trying to make it work, my 5-yr relationship ended in September after similar effort to save it
3. Mild driving phobias
4. Kind of quiet people, at least at first
5. Similar approach to workplace socializing in that we don't do it any more than we have to (though I'm trying to force myself to be more of a networker)
6. and the aforementioned blue nail polish